Love My Own ~ 2009

by La’akea Sky Smith  Feb. 2, 2009

Love My Own 

I Wake up every morning Trying so hard to be love 

Forgetting all I need is to turn towards you
To turn inward
Toward the place where you and I
cease and Infinity begins 

All I want this day
is a place to sit
in the sun
where I can be soft where I can disappear and
whisper in the wind 

All I want to say is nothing, but
I can't find the words Flimsy, they quiver off my tongue like young fawn shaky on legs
that still feel as if in the womb 

Realizing that in this world
so composed, in it's very essence
by movement,
so expressed in constant shift
that my needs change as well with the tides and
the only method
that seems to endure any
test of time
is to have no method
at all. 

Maybe love is just that. 

Maybe unchanging, ceaseless, immeasurable unconditional love 

is only the willingness to change and dance around the
bonfire,
switching partners 

at each flick
of the flames tongue and at each crossing turning inward
to see that the
warmth feels the same at every corner
of the earth 

Finally admitting that my greatest fear is that
life goes on without me 

but as this body falls away, insubstantial,
and all my demons feed upon this flesh a peace offering 

I understand at last the fearlessness
of holding nothing as my own 

2/1/09 La’akea Sky Smith